Laughing Yoginis

In your darkest moment, in your fear and shame, you stood there wavering in your resolve. Your integrity and pride were gone and you wanted to walk away from all that was good. And I could not fear for you. I could only trust you. And you did not walk away.

She ran around your shoulders as if weaving a cloak. We moved her, even tried to discard her several times But there she was, like an affirmation of the conversation You didn't see her as much but you felt her And she stayed with us till we departed. Sometimes on your shirt collar Sometimes on your button  Powerful synchronicy

It comes on like warm rum rolling from the heart and emanates in the ten directions of my body. It rushes into every part of my being, warming my soul and melting old scars. As it reaches the limits of my being, it falls back into itself -- a tiny spark chain reacts and promptly goes supernova. It burns and melts everything within me to light and I ......who am I? The light turns to liquid and burns through my veins, my nerves and melts everything.  Just when I must cry out, I must laugh, I must do something because I cannot contain it, the fire in my veins, in my blood, in my heart consumes into clarity. Everything seen is lit with the blaze of it - and everything heard and felt. Everything perceived is permeated. The atoms resonate, vibrate with it. Just when it cannot be contained, it burns cool in the veins and turns to oceanic clarity. Vast and deep and broad, the countless drops form waves and return again to ocean state. Out of that emerges form. Cool blue veins, lapis ligh

What is skillful doubt? To question the truth or fact of something. To question and contemplate with a clear mind. This kind of doubt is encouraged in spiritual practice as a means to think analytically about the way things exist. But using the word doubt often brings about another dynamic. To feel uncertain, to lack confidence or trust, to be afraid of. This connotation is sometimes strongly tied to the immediate experience of the word doubt. It comes almost instantaneously and habitually when the word is spoken. If this dynamic arises it prevents us from experiencing skillful doubt. What can we do to remove the fear and uncertainty from our doubt dynamic, and open ourselves to skillful doubt? Doubt: 1 [ trans. ] feel uncertain about : I doubt my ability to do the job.• question the truth or fact of (something) : who can doubt the value of these services? | [with clause ] I doubt if anyone slept that night.• archaic fear; be afraid of : I doubt not your contradictions.

There is a saying, “If you have much, give of your wealth. If you have little, give of your heart.” A friend went to Varanasi, the oldest city in the world. Among many beautiful things, she found dirty water, poverty, and much physical suffering. The first morning she met a tiny beggar girl, only six years old or so, who probably lived homeless near the holy Ganges river. The small girl tried to sell a tiny arrangement of flowers to my friend for 5 rupees. My friend only had a 500-rupee note, which is the local equivalent of about 100 dollars. Fearing that the explanation was too complex for the native’s simple English, my friend said, “no money, sorry,” and walked on. A moment later she felt a tug at her skirt. The beggar girl handed my friend the flowers and said, “No money? OK Free.” She thought she had more than my friend, so she shared. There is a saying, “If you have much, give of your wealth. If you have little, give of your heart.” But how about, “If you have much, give of

She said she was going over to paint with those Buddhists, and she marched over here. Took up a paintbrush for all of five seconds and then swaggered back across the road for her pack of cigarettes and a lighter. Grumbling she returns and tells us she defends when people say bad things about us. I asked what kind and she tells me, "you know, drunk people things." I propose that maybe those opinions are more about them or the alcohol and less about Buddhists. She lets it slide and starts staining the deck. Short summer dress and no shoes, she plops down politelyy but those legs are so long they are just going everywhere. I glance at those long long legs I wonder how the monk is doing. She is perfumed with after-smell of extensive alcohol consumption. She declares she's Christian. I say I think that is cool. She disagrees with me instantly. This becomes a pattern. She has no opinion she claims, but jumps in every half sentence to debate one of the words I have chosen. This