Laughing Yoginis

How do you say rampaging elephants in French?

Dearest one, I feel in my deepest way of knowing that we need enlightened doctors, not tired doctors. So I am sending you a litle lavendar and a prayer for your enlightenment. This prayer is something I experience as a wordless song deep in my heart, as if I had overheard a muse calling you away from the stress of ordinary being.......to a pure state..... In the darkest most demanding hours, please do not forget that there is more to being alive than the ordinary demands of the outer world. That being alive inside, feeling alive inside yields the highest intelligence. The highest balance, the highest form of love, and the deepest healing. Do not forget the healer inside you -- the one who came to this world to learn and heal. Do not forget the healer inside is the one who relies on you -- you who are its sole caretaker . Do not forget your balance -- for the loss of balance leads to a type of familiar isolation and a comfortable confusion. Dearest one, I pray for you that in this b...

RULES | COMMITTMENT [Update -- friend confirms total annoyance. Now we have something we can work with]

My friend missed her plane today and ended up renting a car to drive home from Eau Claire to Chicago. It was great news for me, since she stopped in Madison and had dinner with my father and me. We took the rental to my father's house and on the way a story unfolded. It seems my friend was overwhelmed by the number of high tech buttons and choices in the Chevy Impala that was her rental vehicle. I mean, there were like a million buttons everywhere in this car -- on the dash, on the steering wheel, on the doors. [Which probably explains why the air conditoning was on high when open windows or even heat might have been more apropriate.] On the way down from Eau Claire, she was trying to adjust the rearview mirror. I inspected it as she told the story -- it had four or five buttons across the bottom. Who ever say a rearview mirror with five buttons? So she pushed the red button with what seemed to be a star, or arrows, or a directional indicator so she could adjust the mirrror. But it...

Hmmmm, ....even in my dreams, people (including myself) are struggling. It seems we are going through a challenging, somewhat confusing time. I suggest we relax a little and flow more fluidly with whatever process is happening and not take it too seriously. Don't get too much into self-doubt or over-analyzing everything. I suspect when we come out on the other side, we will find we've all been experiencing some shift and we'll be fine. I think we're being taught somthing new and it's caused some confusion. But the confusion will clear and the light will dawn - and we'll laugh in retrospect at how hard it all seemed.

There are not words to express my gratitude for my own mother. If I could save her from a life of suffering it would not repay her. If I could save her from even a single nightmare -- if I prevent her inner being from being confused from years of saving lives(-- lives which may have been lost to trauma). If I could speak to her from wisdom. If I could sing the song in my heart. If I could soothe her to sleep with the kindness of authentic compassion. If I could point her to the next step of inner process. If I could invite her to a higher place, a deeper meaning, a more vivid life (more than she has). If I could be the sage I will someday be -- if I could be it for her. That would be a thank you for a million lifetimes. How do I put that on a card? How do I say that with flowers? There are no material objects of gods an men which are adequate. Only the perfected state is adequate. How do you give enlightenment on mothers day?

A budding Yogini called me today in answer to a fairly ordinary phone call I had placed. After a brief discussion, she was about to get off the phone when she said, "Happy mothers day to you." [And i thought] Happy mothers day to me? [blink] Happy mothers day to me. With that statement I stepped out of the ranks of all sentient beings into another role, mother. And I could see that way that it was true. Not in a pride way, but in another more down-to-earth way. I am a mother. And I am a daughter. And so are all of you. And then I thought about being a mother, and its responsibilities. I don't have children of my own. If the current plan gets carried out, I never will. But deep in the bones, deep in my blood, deeply rooted in my very nature there is a sense of reponsibility. A sense of nurture. And if for one moment I looked at this world as a auhtentic mother, if I looked at each person as a daughter or son, what occurs to me is that I am immediately prevented from doing ...

I accept this letter from a friend and in kind offer it to my mother of this lifetime and to all my mothers. On this Mother's Day I want to take a moment to remember not only my mother of this life, but also those of you who have been like a mother to me in these last few years. I also wish to remember all sentient beings who have been my precious mother in other times. To all those beings that have loved me unconditionally in this life and beyond, as only a mother can love another, cared for and protected me, taught me and showed me kindness: May you have happiness. May you be free from suffering. May you never be separated from the ultimate state and may you be free from the bonds of attachment and aversion. May you be free...and may I cause this by myself alone. For the benefit of all sentient beings who have been my mother, and have raised me in kindness again and again, I vow that I will never abandon even one of my mothers to the sufferings of cyclic existence.

As I read through the blog I was surprised to find out that I pray a lot. I pray for people I know well, people I see occasionally, and people I don't even know. I pray for the people reading the blog. I even pray for myself. And sometimes I even express my deep appreciation for these people as well.

Some thoughts on choosing a name Whatever the actual inspiration was for the name, Inner Fire is a classic reference to the heat of purification whose result is health. In Yoga, there are certain practices whose name I do not know, and in Buddhism, called Tummo. The inner heat practices usually come after study or mastery of Pranayama at its deeper levels. They are also integral in the enlightenment (inner health) path. There are several implications. One, it is an auspicious name in general. Two, it is auspicious because it is the next step beyond what is currently offered. Three, it is an auspicious hallmark in evolving beyond the studio's origins. Inner Fire , or inner heat, also is a part of returning to a state of balance. In some active transformative meditations it happens spontaneously, and usually at the time when it is needed, rather than having to do a meditation that has a specific objective of Inner Fire . As it culminates in the result, practitioners come away smoot...

Shhhhhhh. Be very quiet. The monster of my anger is hanging out under the bed. Don't wake it up. All day its been there snoring....snoring so loudly that I can't concentrate. Every once in a while it snorts itself awake and yips out some strange comment and then nestles back in for a long tedious sleep. Someone call the fire department, the dog catcher, anything. Does anyone have one of those dart gun thingy's that puts animals to sleep? The monster under the bed must go. But its a very volatile situation you see. Its big and dangerous. More dangerous than an 800 pound gorilla. It must have lost its way, because a long time ago I turned it out to the wild. Said goodbye forever. Let it run joyfully back to some other place until it became transformed back into its natural state ... one of non-anger. But here it is again. Old habits perhaps. So I contemplated why it was there. As I thought about it --- crept around it and tried not to wake it -- I realized what its really abo...

To you, a ray of sunshine: If you should joyfully journey far from this place of our friendship, never to return, I shall smile with love as you fly free. But if we are sperated in time and space by even a mere a moment of fear and isolation, I will not abandon you to such a prison. I will find a way to snatch you from that hellish place.

I realized recently that I lack yoga etiquette. I must have some strange Karmic issue that I have unintentionally wound up taking several of my unsuspecting friends to an intermediate yoga class as their first Yoga experience. I think its happened twice now, maybe three times. And on top of that, I often choose to arrive late, and sometimes I leave early. I was even late to my own private lesson. I make noise when I leave the studio -- the door creaks, my yoga mat squeaks while others are still in final asana. And since I feel like this has turned into a confession -- One day I got a sunburn and that night I showed up slathered in pure lavender oil (which is good for burns and probably smelled better than sweat, but was nonetheless a no-no) -- lavender oil which I had forgotten and could no longer smell. Does it matter that my life is so full of work and practice that sometimes if I had to come on time I would not be able to practice yoga at all? Does it matter that the only way I can ...