Random thoughts for Baker
Yes, I've been thinking of you.
And while you have been laying in the sun, baking to a fine golden hue, I've been thinking about death. And I've been thinking about the theme of death. In video games, and violent movies and even in the music we listen to.
I've decided to contemplate the theory that for a select few, interaction with the concept of death in this manner is perhaps not so much about a kind of morbid fascination or callous play as much as it might be an attempt to understand death itself. And perhaps in understanding death being more capable to understand life. I guess there are many ways to think about it now I've begun to analyze it, but out flow these thoughts related to this one perspective.....
For our contemplation its important to understand the possibility that our inner self at the deepest levels cannot distinguish between TV or video games and "real" events. Indeed, scientists have shown that the brain processes real time events and memories in the same way, so it may also be true that at our deepest levels we can not tell the difference between present trauma or memories of past trauma. If this is the case, then both viewing violent activities and remembering violent activities may cause a kind of stress or trauma at our deepest levels of being. The result would be that we need to be careful in the ways that we contemplate death, so that we do not cause a certain kind of stress or trauma on our inner selves -- the actual one we are here to care for.
It is not the act of death or war that is the subject here -- its our contemplation of our relationship with death and the dynamics it creates in our lives. This kind of contemplation of death is not through observation of violent acts as much as it is of the raw nature of death ... and of decay. Of impermanence and of the precious time we have here. Some unheard deep inner voice may be calling to us to gain our attention. Like a drumbeat underlying the pulse of our life. Its saying, look at me, look at death. Today is your only day, this moment is your only moment. Soon you could be dead. How does that look, how does that feel?
Is this morbid? Depends on how you look at it. Some grow frightened at the thought of death (like I have been) and live life in fear. But in others something important awakens and each day becomes precious, vibrant, festive and full. With such incredible richness its hard to think that one would need more than a day, but we do.
I used to tell my last boyfriend that he could only count on me being around today, that I wanted our relationship to be that way. Not because I feared commitment, but because I thought if we lived each day like it was the only day, we would live it to its fullest. And it worked very well, until one day when I forgot.
Anyway, all that to say that in this random ongoing contemplation I've started thinking of you as a potential closet cemetery dwelling Yogi. Why? Because there is this spark I see in you -- this kind of quiet intensity that has this potential to know death and to be completely without fear. Not in the way that you have previously imagined knowing death. Not in the way you might imagine it now -- which could be very sophisticated. But in a way you can only know it after profound transformation from a positive catalyst.
Who knows if this is a correct perception on my part, but because of it I now have a secret prayer for you.
Fearlessness. Do not let death play you like a fine instrument. Beat the drum, my brother.....
And while you have been laying in the sun, baking to a fine golden hue, I've been thinking about death. And I've been thinking about the theme of death. In video games, and violent movies and even in the music we listen to.
I've decided to contemplate the theory that for a select few, interaction with the concept of death in this manner is perhaps not so much about a kind of morbid fascination or callous play as much as it might be an attempt to understand death itself. And perhaps in understanding death being more capable to understand life. I guess there are many ways to think about it now I've begun to analyze it, but out flow these thoughts related to this one perspective.....
For our contemplation its important to understand the possibility that our inner self at the deepest levels cannot distinguish between TV or video games and "real" events. Indeed, scientists have shown that the brain processes real time events and memories in the same way, so it may also be true that at our deepest levels we can not tell the difference between present trauma or memories of past trauma. If this is the case, then both viewing violent activities and remembering violent activities may cause a kind of stress or trauma at our deepest levels of being. The result would be that we need to be careful in the ways that we contemplate death, so that we do not cause a certain kind of stress or trauma on our inner selves -- the actual one we are here to care for.
It is not the act of death or war that is the subject here -- its our contemplation of our relationship with death and the dynamics it creates in our lives. This kind of contemplation of death is not through observation of violent acts as much as it is of the raw nature of death ... and of decay. Of impermanence and of the precious time we have here. Some unheard deep inner voice may be calling to us to gain our attention. Like a drumbeat underlying the pulse of our life. Its saying, look at me, look at death. Today is your only day, this moment is your only moment. Soon you could be dead. How does that look, how does that feel?
Is this morbid? Depends on how you look at it. Some grow frightened at the thought of death (like I have been) and live life in fear. But in others something important awakens and each day becomes precious, vibrant, festive and full. With such incredible richness its hard to think that one would need more than a day, but we do.
I used to tell my last boyfriend that he could only count on me being around today, that I wanted our relationship to be that way. Not because I feared commitment, but because I thought if we lived each day like it was the only day, we would live it to its fullest. And it worked very well, until one day when I forgot.
Anyway, all that to say that in this random ongoing contemplation I've started thinking of you as a potential closet cemetery dwelling Yogi. Why? Because there is this spark I see in you -- this kind of quiet intensity that has this potential to know death and to be completely without fear. Not in the way that you have previously imagined knowing death. Not in the way you might imagine it now -- which could be very sophisticated. But in a way you can only know it after profound transformation from a positive catalyst.
Who knows if this is a correct perception on my part, but because of it I now have a secret prayer for you.
Bones and ashes and soot and deep samsara shattering transformation -- and a very very long and beneficial lifeThis is my prayer, and it is no small prayer. I hesitate to even share it, but I think you might understand.
Fearlessness. Do not let death play you like a fine instrument. Beat the drum, my brother.....
Comments