Disconnected

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This is me writing for ....mostly for myself.

I feel disconnected. Kicked out of my own spiritual life. On the curb. Sitting on the curb watching video -- and movies -- and, well CRAP. What happened to the laughing yoginis?

This kind of disconnected is so unpleasant. [This is me pretty much whining] But it also may be useful. It could be the disconnected of despondent and lazy, but somehow it feels more like the quiet uncomfortable waiting for the next step in the process.

OK, were you thinking the life of a meditator is glamorous? Try looking at your gold plated crap for a while. Starts to smell. Then what do you do with it? If you managed getting it on to the curb maybe the garbage man will come and pick it up.

Maybe I am waiting for the garbage man. With a bitter taste in my mouth.

So I said rounds of purification mantra and prayed. [Hey, when you stink you can take a shower!] But I didn't meditate. To push or not to push (on the meditation) is the question. I'm not experienced enough to know. So more purification mantra. And on it goes as I sit patiently waiting for this to transform into something else.

But even now I can't help smiling when I think of those Laughing Yoginis. Its nice to know I can have a nice helping of real laughter with my dose of mild annoyance. I promise, we will laugh together again. Maybe the yoginis will even come to visit. But today......today is about waiting out the storm.

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