What are the zombie fields, asks a friend

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I wrote a post on burying my dead selves.....an analogy for shedding old, outdated ways of being. But lately, I have been really resisting change. Even positive change. And I have had a lot of doubt and muck come up and longed for old times "when things were simpler" (not really true of course).

I've felt really out of balance and have not been thinking clearly. And, well, the old choices I used to make, the ones which were never helpful, are seeming really tempting. So are the ones I was wise enough not to make and yet at some point entertained.

So its tempting to be my old self, which is like unburying or resurrecting a dead self. Which would be a zombie according to the analogy. Which is fitting, since I also feel sort of like a zombie might feel. And of course, everywhere I turn it seems like there's a temptation to be the 'old me.' A very stifling, musty, scary temptation (yuk, why do I take it seriously?)

So the zombie fields are the expanses of all the old temptations to be something that will leave me feeling like I tried to resurrect a dead person -- hollow, unsatisfied, and well, really really cranky.

You know how those zombies always moan.......they ARE NOT happy.

Comments

Menma said…
You put into words so well this concept...except I didn't recognize it for what it was in myself. For that I thank you deeply...
Mon Aug 27, 08:10:00 PM
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