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Showing posts from 2007

Dearest Prauge

Although we have different paths, we travel on the same road today. Its a joy to be your companion in this new beginning. The well of unrecognized potential is so deep within you. And fear is simply an illusion that you can pass through like a veil of mist as you travel this road. Breathe deep and step onto the path. Now is the time for your inner voice, your inner laugh, your inner joy and deep inner wisdom to shine through you. This is the profound teaching, to step aside and let wisdom speak. In this you are capable, but practice is necessary. Now it is time to practice.

He said...

"Let's invite your gall bladder to be friends with your liver again." And he meant it. I felt it deep inside that he meant it. And so we did. Me, my acupuncturist and my Chi. And my gall bladder is a friend of my liver.

Me -n- My Chi

At the advice of my gentle friend, I am seeing an acupuncturist. A new acupuncturist, speaking of beginnings. Now, I tend to think that since acupuncturists are trained in how the energy, or Chi moves through the body, that I can talk about my energy to them and relate how I experience my own energy. Yes, boy and girls, I am one wooo - wooo kind of gal sometimes. So anyway, back to the story, there we were. My acupuncturist, me and my Chi. I think I may have blown his mind. He looked at me quite seriously and said, "I have never heard anyone say anything like that before!" OK, so I just figured out there is a slight difference between knowing how the energy is supposed to move in the body and feeling it move in the body, which is perhaps not usually something that patients talk about. Ooops . Oh well. Not everyone is good friends with their Chi. As Menma says, "I guess its just me and my Chi......" *laughing*

Homelessness

Remember the meanings of homelessness. Remember the dimensions of homelessness. If you miss it, you have wandered away from it on the inside, but it is still there.

Random thoughts for Baker

Yes, I've been thinking of you. And while you have been laying in the sun, baking to a fine golden hue, I've been thinking about death. And I've been thinking about the theme of death. In video games, and violent movies and even in the music we listen to. I've decided to contemplate the theory that for a select few, interaction with the concept of death in this manner is perhaps not so much about a kind of morbid fascination or callous play as much as it might be an attempt to understand death itself. And perhaps in understanding death being more capable to understand life. I guess there are many ways to think about it now I've begun to analyze it, but out flow these thoughts related to this one perspective..... For our contemplation its important to understand the possibility that our inner self at the deepest levels cannot distinguish between TV or video games and "real" events. Indeed, scientists have shown that the brain processes real time events and ...

Prayers for Prague, Day 1 of Yoga Training

Dearest Prague , I learned today that the first day of yoga training is the hardest. You're going to do great, just know that its the hardest because everyone has a story about how they aren't good enough, or how they are going to mess up -- or god forbid that they aren' t afraid at all because they think th eir perfect (rarest of all). I know you are not one of the proud ones, so when your story gets going about how you aren't good enough or how you're gonna mess up, just remember to breathe -- we your Yoga brothers and sisters in training have all been through that time and you are not alone. Breathe dear, and stay with it. You ARE the one dear, now BE the one. I can't wait till you get home and tell me all about it.

Hello Africa

If you've been reading the blog lately, you'll notice I've been suffering from looking at myself. Most people spend their whole lives looking at themselves inside -- and they repackage and reexamine the things that they already know so they seem new and interesting . They cling to their identities and expectations and to the things that look and feel familiar. Even the things that seem new and exciting are usually familiar in certain ways. But they don't know that they are doing it. [And if that describes you, my reader, don't worry -- you can look away too, once you know how to do it. ] But really, looking at ourselves just causes us more suffering. Why? Because it generates a kind grasping clinging to things we can not possibly maintain. It causes us to feel separate and alone, and it causes us to fail to understand the plight of others, even the most wise of us. And so in order to stop our own suffering we must look away from ourselves, from the mental, philoso...

Downward Dog

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I am beginning to suspect that Downward Dog is a contemplative pose. At least for me. Everytime I am considering writing about Yoga, the post name that comes to mind is Downward Dog. Or something of that nature. This is what it looks like, sort of. Downward Dog. Down Dog. Dog.

1 day, 6,006 words

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Arrival Prayer Departure Dharamsala, January 2007 Some photos compliments of Tsering.

Mouse house

My housemate and I tried to save a little baby mouse today. She had picked it up off the sidewalk where it was being attacked by ants, and she brought it home. We took it to the pet store for some supplies -- it was about 10-14 days old. Tiny squeaks. Fur. Eyes still closed. Cute. We found something to feed it, and a warming lamp to put on an old aquarium I had. Got it home, kept it warm. Washed it, and finally named it Tashi. Then I was feeling confident and decided I would try to feed it (my roommate had rather unsuccessfully tried a couple of times, but we think he got a little something). Its possible there was another reason, but I think I fed it too quickly and it aspirated the pediacare(try getting less than .25 cc into a tiny mouse mouth with a syringe)...... I wish now I had let my roommate feed it. The little mouse passed away in our hands, on our watch. My roommate is happy we did what we could -- at least it wasn't left there on street tormented by ants. It had a better...

New home.

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What are the zombie fields, asks a friend

I wrote a post on burying my dead selves .....an analogy for shedding old, outdated ways of being. But lately, I have been really resisting change. Even positive change. And I have had a lot of doubt and muck come up and longed for old times "when things were simpler" (not really true of course). I've felt really out of balance and have not been thinking clearly. And, well, the old choices I used to make, the ones which were never helpful, are seeming really tempting. So are the ones I was wise enough not to make and yet at some point entertained. So its tempting to be my old self, which is like unburying or resurrecting a dead self. Which would be a zombie according to the analogy. Which is fitting, since I also feel sort of like a zombie might feel. And of course, everywhere I turn it seems like there's a temptation to be the 'old me.' A very stifling, musty, scary temptation (yuk, why do I take it seriously?) So the zombie fields are the expanses of all...

I hate war

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I was looking at old photos today, and I came across these. This is a rather somber quote, but I find it inspiring. I want to laugh and rejoice that a president said something so wise. I am not going to speculate about it, his time is done now and so I am going to simply accept it as-is. This is in the FDR Memorial in Washington, DC in April 2006. "I HATE WAR. I have seen war on land and sea. I have seen blood runnign from the wounded. I have seen the dead in the mud. I have seen cities destroyed.....I have seen children starving. I have seen the agony of mothers and wives. I HATE WAR." "In these days of difficulty we Americans must choose the path of social justice….. the path of faith, the path of hope, and the path of love toward our fellow man. " "We have faith that future generations will know that here,in the middle of the twentieth century, there came a timewhen men of good will found a way to unite and produce,and fight to destroy the forces of igno...

Another ray of light

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Looking at May 2006

Dear father

My rampaging elephant took me out for a drag today, what did you do?

Out sitting in a field somewhere on behalf of a guy

aka a semi-amusing layered interlude to the Zombie theme arising in the blog...... just for this guy I know I hate to burst anyone's bubble, but just in case you were confused, in fact I am an upwardly mobile VP in a global consulting firm who owns real estate and is sufficiently liquid to invest in a meditation center. And I have the business cards to prove it *grin.* [That doesn't mean I have any money though, so don't come knocking. I already used it to support aforementioned meditation center.] So in case you thought I might be hiding in a cave with a wireless internet card, or wandering homeless around India in a large orange diaper, I thought I'd clear that up. I did come really close to completely shaving my head once.... But seriously, if you can't stop thinking about chucking it all and sitting in a field, then you can come hang out with me sometime and I will do my best to show you where to put your ass in the grass and MEDITATE ! So, in your mind, can I...

All sentient beings have been my doctor

I'm feeling a little shy so I'd like to explain how my future doctor ended up with her name, just to make sure I am not creating any ordinary performance anxiety. There is a saying that if you accept reincarnation in general, then in the countless lives you have lived, all sentient beings have at one time or another been your mother. And your father, brother, sister, and best friend. And so if that is true, I have concluded, in fact, they have all probably been your doctor. And if we continue to be reborn, then at one point or another in the future, every sentient being will be your mother again. And your father, brother, sister, and best friend. And I add, also your doctor. I think about this every time I think of my future doctor. And I smile. Because maybe its this lifetime that she will have the role of my MD, or maybe its the next or the next. Or maybe she will get enlightened and she will be more of a spiritual doctor. But I appreciate her kindness either way. I will chee...

The spell checker needs some gender equity training

The spell checker thinks Yoginis is misspelled. *blink* Suggests Yogis. *long pause* I'd have let it slide if it suggested Yogins . *???* But no, I couldn't let it be. *sigh* Now what category does that go under? :)

An ordinary story about a guy

I met him at a night club, I think. Out dancing -- could it have been at Carol's Cage? That night club I used to go to when I was 18 -- the one where I used to go with my 16 year old cousin who taught me how to mosh. She took me there. Then sometimes I went by myself. He must have met the "me" that wore combat boots and leggings, and enjoyed dancing to Nine Inch Nails, Jesus Jones and Thrill Kill Cult. I was underage then, but I never tried to drink at Carol's. I was a dancer -- not professonal of course, just for fun. I would dance until I could barely stand. I would close the bar dancing. I had long hair then -- down to my waist. But I wore it up with chopsticks to the clubs, knowing that if I ever got into trouble, they would provide handy defense. ??? So there I was, and I believe there he was too..... but if it wasn't there, it must have been some club. So I think this is how it goes. We met, we lost touch, time passed, we ran into each other again. Most of t...

ZOMBIE UPDATE

I'm feeling slightly better -- I can almost breathe. Maybe I will pray a little more and see what happens -- I noticed I've been thinking and praying a lot for an old guy friend. Perhaps its time for a few more more stories ... maybe some old stories and some new prayers.

A [nother] prayer for my future doctor

OK, you might think I am about to say hoo-hum, "We need enlightened doctors, not tired doctors," but it is actually another kind of prayer. Refuge is the committment to seek shelter and solace only in that which is pure, and not from that which is distorted and fallible. It is the pentultimate mast of the ship, the lamp on the stormy sea. It is safety itself. It refers to something that will never fail to uphold us, something that can only be found inside, not outside. And so in refuge we find a source of safety and shelter that cannot be found in our imperfect outer world. And we say a little prayer to remind us, and that prayer upholds us and protects us. And just so we can contribute, we make a little promise of nonharming. And sometimes we even promise that we will work hard to become a kind of refuge for others, eventually, when we have perfected our ability to help ourselves. I like to think of my future doctor out there (before she meets each patient) saying something...

Synchronicity of the auspicious moon

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OK, one never knows when these things are coincidental or not, but I'd have to say they happen far too frequently to me to say all of them are coincedence. So I look at them all with a mind of auspiciousness, but not too seriously. Here is the ORANGE moon at retreat [who ever saw an orange moon? Pink? Yes. Red? Yes. Gold? Yes. But not orange.] on the night of the empowerment of the wisdom meditation associated with Manjushri, an enlightened role model whose specialty is wisdom itself. Interestingly, the color associated with it is orange. Again, it's not that it happens, but how often it happens. For comparison, here are photos from the winter retreat 2006, where there was a red rainbow (just red, no other colors, except maybe for a tinge of gold) with red sky on the one night we did a meditation whose associated color was red. Did I mention the end of the rainbow was the prayer hall? Oh, yeah, and it was like 40 degrees every day in Wiscosnin in January for about 21 days. An...

ZOMBIE AMBUSH!

OK, this is not for you, this is for me. Maybe I can figure out how to breathe again if I write.... My dead selves have dug themselves up from their graves.......what would the grave-digger say now? I am being haunted by zombies everywhere, and I feel like a Zombie (yes, capital Z). Is this what they refer to when they say the courage to pass through charnel ground, the 8 great cemeteries ? It is within here that one must find fearlessness to move toward the perfected state or be returned to ordinary, two dimensional, boring life. Snake eyes. The dice are coming up ordinary. I feel like I am going to vomit.

At Retreat

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Every month I get a bill

And in the bill I get a letter And in the letter is wisdom itself All wraped up in a shiny package of words And in this month's letter........ The Grave Digger Once as I was burying one of my dead selves, the grave-digger came by and said to me, "of all those who come here to bury, you alone I like." Said I, "You please me exceedingly, but why do you like me?" "Because," saide he,"They come weeping and go weeping ___ you only come laughing and go laughing." (Kahill Giban) This week I am on retreat, burying another dead, outdated old self. Here's to the gravedigger in all of us!

Converted

Alignment yoga. I think I am just beginning to understand.

Geeky physics humor, I mean, uh, math humor

Ah, the complexity, pain and humor of samsara all wrapped up ..... Credit for pointing this out goes to my monk-physicist friend ....... "Finite Simple Group of Order Two"

I have no idea..........another adventure in the land of Pema

I have no idea why I let her drive me to Milwaukee -- it was all so proposterous. Sort of, well absurd. It seemed to make sense at the time. Although once we hit the traffic jam there was a moment of questioning the sanity of the whole thing, but hindsight is 20/20. I know I am supposed to write about it -- that journey through a thousand flavours. They both told me so. But there was so much food involved. I have no idea what was said. Its all a blur of spumoni and chocolate cake and, well, I think I even pounded on the table at least once. I laughed so hard that in the end I have no idea what I was laughing about. Fab yoga teacher gives another cameo in my life -- who else would rejoice that her class totally annoyed you (it was a good thing) and then offer up more chocolate cake? The doctor herself dipping into the spomoni and lamenting its early demise (the danger of ordering desert first -- never start with spumoni unless you intend to finish it before the main course) Of course n...

Yogini extraordinaire

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I discovered the other day that my roommate is this really serious yogini. I mean, really serious about her yoga practice. Way way serious. I am not sure how she has kept it hidden. You see, she is so serious that she only practices one pose at a time. And she practices it until its perfected, and then she goes on to another one. This past week, she must have practiced this one pose for hours -- and she says that its one of the hardest poses to do out of all of the yoga poses -- some people even say its the most difficult of all. Yes, the pose she is studying now is Savasana -- Corpse pose. She aspires to practice it at least eight hours a day until she perfects it. then she will move on to the next pose. For those of you who might be unfamiliar with this famous pose -- I have enclosed a picture.

Blaaaaaaahg

Have we been laughing enough or has it been going all blah? [*blink* OK, no one comments on this blog, so is this a rhetorical question or am I talking to myself? *blink* Oh, huh -- are either of those a bad sign? *blink*]

How do you say .....

How do you say rampaging elephants in French?

A prayer for my future doctor

Dearest one, I feel in my deepest way of knowing that we need enlightened doctors, not tired doctors. So I am sending you a litle lavendar and a prayer for your enlightenment. This prayer is something I experience as a wordless song deep in my heart, as if I had overheard a muse calling you away from the stress of ordinary being.......to a pure state..... In the darkest most demanding hours, please do not forget that there is more to being alive than the ordinary demands of the outer world. That being alive inside, feeling alive inside yields the highest intelligence. The highest balance, the highest form of love, and the deepest healing. Do not forget the healer inside you -- the one who came to this world to learn and heal. Do not forget the healer inside is the one who relies on you -- you who are its sole caretaker . Do not forget your balance -- for the loss of balance leads to a type of familiar isolation and a comfortable confusion. Dearest one, I pray for you that in this b...

Two words for a friend of mine

RULES | COMMITTMENT [Update -- friend confirms total annoyance. Now we have something we can work with]

Another ray of sunshine, aka 'Don't press the red button'

My friend missed her plane today and ended up renting a car to drive home from Eau Claire to Chicago. It was great news for me, since she stopped in Madison and had dinner with my father and me. We took the rental to my father's house and on the way a story unfolded. It seems my friend was overwhelmed by the number of high tech buttons and choices in the Chevy Impala that was her rental vehicle. I mean, there were like a million buttons everywhere in this car -- on the dash, on the steering wheel, on the doors. [Which probably explains why the air conditoning was on high when open windows or even heat might have been more apropriate.] On the way down from Eau Claire, she was trying to adjust the rearview mirror. I inspected it as she told the story -- it had four or five buttons across the bottom. Who ever say a rearview mirror with five buttons? So she pushed the red button with what seemed to be a star, or arrows, or a directional indicator so she could adjust the mirrror. But it...

A gift from a friend.......

Hmmmm, ....even in my dreams, people (including myself) are struggling. It seems we are going through a challenging, somewhat confusing time. I suggest we relax a little and flow more fluidly with whatever process is happening and not take it too seriously. Don't get too much into self-doubt or over-analyzing everything. I suspect when we come out on the other side, we will find we've all been experiencing some shift and we'll be fine. I think we're being taught somthing new and it's caused some confusion. But the confusion will clear and the light will dawn - and we'll laugh in retrospect at how hard it all seemed.

Enlightenment for my mother

There are not words to express my gratitude for my own mother. If I could save her from a life of suffering it would not repay her. If I could save her from even a single nightmare -- if I prevent her inner being from being confused from years of saving lives(-- lives which may have been lost to trauma). If I could speak to her from wisdom. If I could sing the song in my heart. If I could soothe her to sleep with the kindness of authentic compassion. If I could point her to the next step of inner process. If I could invite her to a higher place, a deeper meaning, a more vivid life (more than she has). If I could be the sage I will someday be -- if I could be it for her. That would be a thank you for a million lifetimes. How do I put that on a card? How do I say that with flowers? There are no material objects of gods an men which are adequate. Only the perfected state is adequate. How do you give enlightenment on mothers day?

Mothers

A budding Yogini called me today in answer to a fairly ordinary phone call I had placed. After a brief discussion, she was about to get off the phone when she said, "Happy mothers day to you." [And i thought] Happy mothers day to me? [blink] Happy mothers day to me. With that statement I stepped out of the ranks of all sentient beings into another role, mother. And I could see that way that it was true. Not in a pride way, but in another more down-to-earth way. I am a mother. And I am a daughter. And so are all of you. And then I thought about being a mother, and its responsibilities. I don't have children of my own. If the current plan gets carried out, I never will. But deep in the bones, deep in my blood, deeply rooted in my very nature there is a sense of reponsibility. A sense of nurture. And if for one moment I looked at this world as a auhtentic mother, if I looked at each person as a daughter or son, what occurs to me is that I am immediately prevented from doing ...

From a friend, on mother's day

I accept this letter from a friend and in kind offer it to my mother of this lifetime and to all my mothers. On this Mother's Day I want to take a moment to remember not only my mother of this life, but also those of you who have been like a mother to me in these last few years. I also wish to remember all sentient beings who have been my precious mother in other times. To all those beings that have loved me unconditionally in this life and beyond, as only a mother can love another, cared for and protected me, taught me and showed me kindness: May you have happiness. May you be free from suffering. May you never be separated from the ultimate state and may you be free from the bonds of attachment and aversion. May you be free...and may I cause this by myself alone. For the benefit of all sentient beings who have been my mother, and have raised me in kindness again and again, I vow that I will never abandon even one of my mothers to the sufferings of cyclic existence.

Prayers

As I read through the blog I was surprised to find out that I pray a lot. I pray for people I know well, people I see occasionally, and people I don't even know. I pray for the people reading the blog. I even pray for myself. And sometimes I even express my deep appreciation for these people as well.

Inner fire

Some thoughts on choosing a name Whatever the actual inspiration was for the name, Inner Fire is a classic reference to the heat of purification whose result is health. In Yoga, there are certain practices whose name I do not know, and in Buddhism, called Tummo. The inner heat practices usually come after study or mastery of Pranayama at its deeper levels. They are also integral in the enlightenment (inner health) path. There are several implications. One, it is an auspicious name in general. Two, it is auspicious because it is the next step beyond what is currently offered. Three, it is an auspicious hallmark in evolving beyond the studio's origins. Inner Fire , or inner heat, also is a part of returning to a state of balance. In some active transformative meditations it happens spontaneously, and usually at the time when it is needed, rather than having to do a meditation that has a specific objective of Inner Fire . As it culminates in the result, practitioners come away smoot...

Monster under the bed

Shhhhhhh. Be very quiet. The monster of my anger is hanging out under the bed. Don't wake it up. All day its been there snoring....snoring so loudly that I can't concentrate. Every once in a while it snorts itself awake and yips out some strange comment and then nestles back in for a long tedious sleep. Someone call the fire department, the dog catcher, anything. Does anyone have one of those dart gun thingy's that puts animals to sleep? The monster under the bed must go. But its a very volatile situation you see. Its big and dangerous. More dangerous than an 800 pound gorilla. It must have lost its way, because a long time ago I turned it out to the wild. Said goodbye forever. Let it run joyfully back to some other place until it became transformed back into its natural state ... one of non-anger. But here it is again. Old habits perhaps. So I contemplated why it was there. As I thought about it --- crept around it and tried not to wake it -- I realized what its really abo...

A promise

To you, a ray of sunshine: If you should joyfully journey far from this place of our friendship, never to return, I shall smile with love as you fly free. But if we are sperated in time and space by even a mere a moment of fear and isolation, I will not abandon you to such a prison. I will find a way to snatch you from that hellish place.

Downward dog

I realized recently that I lack yoga etiquette. I must have some strange Karmic issue that I have unintentionally wound up taking several of my unsuspecting friends to an intermediate yoga class as their first Yoga experience. I think its happened twice now, maybe three times. And on top of that, I often choose to arrive late, and sometimes I leave early. I was even late to my own private lesson. I make noise when I leave the studio -- the door creaks, my yoga mat squeaks while others are still in final asana. And since I feel like this has turned into a confession -- One day I got a sunburn and that night I showed up slathered in pure lavender oil (which is good for burns and probably smelled better than sweat, but was nonetheless a no-no) -- lavender oil which I had forgotten and could no longer smell. Does it matter that my life is so full of work and practice that sometimes if I had to come on time I would not be able to practice yoga at all? Does it matter that the only way I can ...

Late to class, and caught laughing again

I laugh a lot in yoga class -- ever since the name of the blog popped into my head. Must have some karma ripening there. Some joy karma. But I am not nearly wise enough to be called a Yogini myself. Just call me laughing Pema .

Did I say laughing yoginis?

I meant sleepy yoginis......zzzzzzzzz...... no, no, I really meant laughing yoginis.......its me who is sleepy.

Mother Mary

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Love is the sweetest thing!!!!

Forget the words, other than the main line -- this song makes my heart sing!!!!!! He sounds like an angel, makes me want to DANCE!!!!!! I'm losing you -- yeah, losing my delusions!!!! LOVE IS THE SWEETEST THING. OOOHHHHHHH, LOVE IS THE SWEETEST THING. !!!!!! Woooha hiiiiiggh, Ain't love the sweetest thing? I'm looking at blue skies (and emerald green oceans) OH YEAH LOVE IS THE SWEETEST THING!!!!!!! Oh yeah, I'm dancing. I'm dancing right into the weekend. And I'm gonna be dancing right into enlightenment. ENCORE!!!!! OH YEAH, LOVE IS THE SWEETEST THING! This is the joyous path!!!!!

Stranger in a strange land

[Do not try this at home unless you are trained in bodhicitta. I am not wise, and in this case I just got lucky] I walked into the corridor leading to my neuromuscular therapist's office. Its all Feng Shue'd there so the front of the corridor is a little cramped, making you want to go into the building. I was about to go open the office door when out came a man from another office. He looked kind of polished . Almost like he didn't belong. I think it was the combination of the shine on his shoes, the crispness of his button down shirt and slacks, and the amount of gel (not too much) that he had in his hair. He was so close I couldn't open the other door. Cramped as I said, but not unpleasant. He asked me where to find a Starbucks. I asked him if he wanted the one with the drive-through or not. I gave him directions. He thanked me. Then he hesitated. And that was when I picked up on something else . That thing that lets you know there is something more to the conversatio...

Green light, GO!

Hey, the light turned green and I'm off to practice!!! I feel better -- I feel alive again. A little residue left, but it'll melt away. I am ready to laugh again! Are you? Where is that darn Jesus Loves Me Barney Bubble Blowing Necklace when you need it?

Not yet enlightened

That is why they call us Buddhists, not Buddhas. What a great line! Its so true.

Beacon

When the torrent of everyday dilemma and unenlightened perception swirls into a storm of dysfunction, there is something that runs deeper and quieter and more powerful. Shining like a beacon in dense fog, my practice calls to me continuously. It says, "I am here for you. I have never failed you." And I begin to remember that clarity exists. I feel it in my bones and I realize that I am stronger than my dysfunctional viewpoints. I can wait them out, even if they are uncomfortable. And in the end I know I will laugh at how seriously I took such a small dilemma. Bring on the rampaging elephants. I am ready to ride.

Dharma Quote of the Week, Snowlion

Actually, if we look around, people whom we don't like and people who harm us are in the minority. Let's say we're at work, at a social gathering, or at a Dharma center with thirty people. How many of them do we really dislike? We may have problems with a few people here and there, but we manage to stay in a room together, don't we? It's not like we despise them and they hate us. The number of people we can't stand in this world is actually very small. These people are rare. To practice patience we need the people that we don't like. We can't practice patience with our friends or with people who are kind to us. Finding people that we don't like or who threaten us is not so easy. So, when we finally find them, they are a precious treasure! They are rare to find. When we meet them, we can think, "Fantastic, I get to practice patience now." They say that high-level bodhisattvas pray to meet disgusting, uncooperative people because they want to...

New Warriors

The guy in me wants to be a New Warrior . Since I was young, I always suspected we have what Rinpoche calls dynamic polarity. The balance of male/female energies that has little to do with gender identity. It is an inner process that is natural. A balance that is natural. Being unenlightened, I've expressed this on the outside since I was little, equally enjoying 'guy' things as much as 'girl' things. I liked manly sports and (used to drink) whiskey on the rocks and ocassionally smoke cigars. I liked fluffy girly dresses, frozen drinks, and chick flicks. My new warrior friends have explained kindly that there is a women's group I could join. I kindly explained back that the guy in me won't be able to learn about the unique aspects of the male process from being in a women's group. They get it. I sort of get it. The guy in me wants to understand how the male energies get expressed in this world system. An all mens group for my inner guy. Dynamic interior ...

Laughing Yogis

I have a life filled with gender inclusiveness. So my only dissatisfaction with the blog title is that it doesn't say (in addition to the current title) Laughing Yogis: And I thought, 'if we were all enlightened right now, we would be called laughing Yogi's .' Unfortunately its too long for the way the blog is formatted. One day I will have to do something about that. In the meantime, maybe the title should at least say, "Laughing Yogis welcome." But I am afraid the yogis might get the wrong impression *wink*. So it is the way it is.

A zillion hello's

I read this again, and I could not have said it better: A zillion hellos

I met her in the airport and she gave me tickets

She snatched him away from a life of anger. Does that make her a bodhisattva? Maybe. Maybe not. But he is released. Go see Cats of Mirikitani if you have a chance.

Getting unstuck?

Its nice to know that delusions have very little to do with our being. They are only ours because we claim them. We say, "Oh yes, that is MY anger" instead of "What? I am angry? But I have no interest in anger. It has nothing to do with me." and simply washing our hands of it. For instance, if some small child you did not know sneezed on you, you wouldn't say, "Oh, well, this is my snot, I'll just wear it" NO! You would say (perhaps just to yourself), YUK!!!! This is not mine. Get it off me as quickly as possible. Yeah, sort of like that. What, anger? Yuk, get it off me! I think some obstacles are like that too. They are only there because you claim them. You take them seriously and you say, "Oh, yes, this is the way I am -- this is me." When the correct things would be to say, (say it with me) "Yuk, get it off me." And boy do I have an obstacle. I think I mentioned that. Remember when I wasn't laughing? Yeah, I found a hor...

Things to do on business

This is my list of things to do during my last business trip to Edison, New Jersey 1) Visit a local Buddhist temple and perhaps meditate there 2) Find a local Yoga Studio and do Yoga 3) Visit ground zero And following a rather uneventful trip, this is my list of things to do during my next trip to Edison, New Jersey 1) Visit a local Buddhist temple and perhaps meditate there 2) Find a local Yoga Studio and do Yoga 3) Visit ground zero

Disconnected

This is me writing for ....mostly for myself. I feel disconnected. Kicked out of my own spiritual life. On the curb. Sitting on the curb watching video -- and movies -- and, well CRAP. What happened to the laughing yoginis? This kind of disconnected is so unpleasant. [This is me pretty much whining] But it also may be useful. It could be the disconnected of despondent and lazy, but somehow it feels more like the quiet uncomfortable waiting for the next step in the process. OK, were you thinking the life of a meditator is glamorous? Try looking at your gold plated crap for a while. Starts to smell. Then what do you do with it? If you managed getting it on to the curb maybe the garbage man will come and pick it up. Maybe I am waiting for the garbage man. With a bitter taste in my mouth. So I said rounds of purification mantra and prayed. [Hey, when you stink you can take a shower!] But I didn't meditate. To push or not to push (on the meditation) is the question. I'm not experie...

Words are coming alive again

I rarely write for myself alone. When I do, my words are dry and brittle. Uninteresting and not worth remembering. But when I write for others, I seem to come alive inside. The words on the page are mostly a byproduct of my ....... my....... well I think the best word is probably prayers. My hopes and dreams and wishes for the well being of others. And whether the words come alive for others is less relevant than what is alive on the inner level. I write about things I learned from you and things I wish for you. I write what inspires me from interacting with you. And in that way, these entries are about me. And in that way all of the entries are written for the one who is reading now -- they are all written for you. Take what you wish. Don't worry if it was originally for you or others, because it isn't about that. And if you see a small part of yourself reflected in these pages, then please remember that I am only one unenlightened being with unenlightened perceptions looking ...

Evolutionary journey

I wasn't going to write for you. I thought about it often. But I thought it would be too obvious -- even more obvious than the entry I wrote in India on the man with orange hair . And I thought it would be too predictable -- I already wrote about yoga, and this is what, only the third entry? And I thought that maybe people would think that I had nothing better to do than to write about Yoga instructors. But Yoga has been on my mind lately. And I want to remember the early days of Yoga ....... And therefore my Yoga instructors as well. ...... And then when I mentioned the blog name you seemed interested. And that didn't go entirely unnoticed. And when did I ever worry about perception, perhaps even to a fault ? So here is the second entry about Yoga, for you my second Yoga instructor, because you deserve to come alive here too. An evolutionary journey. The next paragraph may have an odd tone, but its important for what comes later. First, turtle pose I remember our meeting. It ...

Water me often

The cycle of continuous improvement is dependant on continuous change. Therefore if our goal is to better ourselves, then our goal is to be immersed in the change cycle. Water me often, even now I am growing.

Jesus loves me barney bubble blowing necklace

What do you give a stellar yoga teacher who comes to your home and give a private lesson for free? One who resists the commodotization of yoga and who teaches economics for the love of it? And what gift does one give when she brings along her lovely med student partner who gives wonderful advice as well? After some thoughts of beautiful statues, donations to nonprofits, gifts from India, my mind settles on a memory from the past. I think to myself with satisfaction that the answer is a Jesus Loves Me Barney Bubble Blowing Necklace. A tiny purple plastic dinosaur about three inches high, hollow and filled with bubble making juice (what is the technical term?). On its tiny green belly is written "Jesus Loves Me." You can twist off the tiny cap and blow the smallest bubbles ever. It comes complete with a little woven purple cord so that you can wear it around your neck. I bought five of them for 17 cents each at Crazy Franks near Mineral Point. And I gave them all away, carefull...